How to be a more awesome friend 🔥

Read time: 3 minutes

Hey Reader,

If there's one thing I've learned over the last 6 years, it's this:

Friendships matter.

90% of opportunities come to me through people I already know.

But here's something you might not have considered:

How do you meaningfully add fuel to your friendships so they continue to burn brightly?

It's easier than you think.

Let me show you.

You might have met Lou before

Lou worked as my virtual assistant (VA) from April 2020 to Jan 2022.

She easily saved me 10+ hours a week by working on my podcast.

Editing & producing episodes, scheduling them, emailing guests - that sort of thing.

She was a godsend! And we get on great.

Then, in Jan 2022, I decided to pause my podcast. I wanted to take my writing more seriously.

But I didn't want to lose touch with Lou.

Nor did she.

So we decided to catch up once a month.

And we've been doing this ever since.

Okay, Scott, where are you going with this??

Adding fuel to our friendship

Lou still works as a VA.

In fact, she's built a thriving VA agency in the Philippines with her sister.

So now, when small business owners reach out to me about VAs, I send them to Lou.

(I've put out lots of content about this topic over the years.)

I've sent countless clients her way, including Tim Denning.

Just this week, Lisa reached out to me about working with Lou:

I checked with Lou that she could offer this service.

She said she could.

So, I hooked them up:

And the chat she mentions in her email?

We're catching up tomorrow :)

You don't have to send clients to your friends, but...

Always be thinking, 'How can I make this person's life a little bit better?'

I have a spreadsheet that contains a list of people I regularly keep in touch with.

Namely close friends & family.

I go through it every Sunday and update the info.

The most important data points are:

  • Birthdays and home addresses (so I can send birthday cards)
  • When we last spoke (by text or in person)
  • What we last spoke about
  • Names of children & pets
  • Important milestones

For example, my friend Jacob is completing a marathon next week.

So, I've added a reminder in my planner to wish him good luck.

The little stuff goes a long way.

Although people spill their guts on social media...

You'll be fondly remembered if you can make your touchpoints more personal.

Think about it.

Which would you rather receive from me?

A comment on one of your posts wishing you a happy birthday


A handwritten birthday card that arrives on the morning of your big day, wishing you a happy birthday with a heart-warming note about what makes our friendship so special

It's obvious when you see it, right?

Sure, it takes a little bit of setting up, but...

Having a system in place is a game-changer.

If you want to add fuel to your friendships, I recommend the barbell strategy.

It's basically lots of small touchpoints and one awesome hangout.

  1. Send messages. I love sharing funny memes, GIFS, and videos with friends. I also love thoughtful email exchanges. For people I don't know well yet (but would like to get to know better), a genuine compliment about their content goes a long way:

2. One big hang-in person or by phone call. Last weekend, after 3 years of deep phone chats and messages, I got to hang out in London with my friend Agnes in person for the first time!

We met through podcasting and have been in touch ever since. She's one of my closest friends. It was a blast.

So there you have it.

I know this advice doesn't seem applicable to writing or business, but trust me -

It is.

Business is built on relationships.

And even if you don't work with someone, you'll enrich your life by fuelling your friendships.

It's a win-win.

Thanks so much for reading, have a wonderful week, and keep chasing your dreams! :)


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